Laughter Is the Best Medicine

I am lying here in my bed where I have been for the last two days. My back is in extreme pain and my heart is broken. So, how is it possible that I have a smile on my face and hope in the future? Once again, I am amazed at how loving and generous my Heavenly Father is. He has opened my eyes to the outpouring of blessings in my life. Perhaps that is why I go through times like this at all. I am forced to lie here - since I literally can't stand up - and think. And when I am forced to think, I go through the Katie cycle of emotions: fear, anger, confusion, frustration, despair, panic, resolve, determination, action, let-down, sadness. And then, when the whirlwind is finally over: peace, happiness, hope, and gratitude.

When I reached my gratitude phase today, I counted my blessings. Here is my list of things that made me laugh and smile the last few days, even as I lay flat on my stomach with an aching back and an aching heart:

• Being able to roll over
• Being able to brush my teeth
• Putting on clean clothes
• A ceiling fan
• Texting
• Sleep
• My retainers
  
• Windows
• Listening for approaching cars
• Putting on makeup
• Uncrustable sandwiches from my mom
• My iPhone
• Music on my iPhone
• Cheesy LDS boy bands
• The white purse my mom bought me
• Still not wanting to do homework, even though I am totally bored
  
• Facebook messages from friends
• Being able to laugh at the chirping fire alarm in my room when it wakes me up at 3:00 am
• A nice, big, tall, comfy bed
• An email titled "My favorite Katie!"
• My 74-year-old bishop who picked me up to try to pop my back
• A bishop who trusts my judgment
• A bishop who tells me I can stay in the ward as long as I want to
• A bishopric member who hugs me and kisses me on the head repeatedly
• A bishopric member who asks me if "That Dutchman" is still following my roommate around
• Smiling at the pork and sour kraut my mom bought me, I made, and my roommate heated up for me, even though I'm eating it lying on my tummy in my bedroom when I'd really rather be salsa dancing with all my friends
• Laughing out loud at the Milli Vanilli lyrics stuck in my head
• Wondering why that Milli Vanilli song isn't on iTunes, and laughing out loud again at the fact that I actually searched for it
• Crawling down the hall with the sweat pants I tried to put on but couldn't wrapped around my neck, hoping the neighbor isn't watching me through his windows, then realizing how ridiculous I look and collapsing in fits of laughter right in front of the neighbor's open window
• Laughing instead of crying when I can't lift my legs back onto my bed
• Emery taking care of me
• Visitors
• Dennis and Sarah coming to visit with lunch and music
• Brittney coming to visit the next day with my niece Ellie and lunch
• Ellie's sense of humor: For example, today she was speaking with her bink in her mouth, so her words sounded like total jibberish. We told her to take her bink out so we could understand what she was saying. She obediently took it out of her mouth and repeated what she had said, which was in fact total jibberish! I know you had to be there, but we all laughed and laughed.
  
• Ellie spreading noodles on my phone cover, dropping crumbs in my bed, spreading mac & cheese all over her face, and putting mac & cheese into my checkbook
  
• Ellie pretending to call "Aunt Kat" on Mommy's cell phone
• Ellie actually managing to send Aunt Kat a text on Mommy's cell phone
• A friend who will make your bed for you when the sheets are all crumby and torn out from an "almost 2"-year-old's visit
• Realizing your niece left a container of butter on your windowsill
• Friends and family
• Derrick keeping me company
• The courage to say how I feel
  
• Answers to prayers, big and small
• Priesthood blessings
• Faith
• Trust
• Knowing where I stand, even when it hurts