Leader Effectiveness Training (L.E.T.) by Dr. Thomas Gordon

I was assigned to read a leadership book and answer a series of questions about it for my EDPS 6445 class. I want to include a quote from the book that summarizes Dr. Thomas Gordon's general philosophy for all human relationships. If you are interested in reading more about the book, the author, and my class responses, check out my EDPS 6445 blog. I also recommend you read the book. It takes a buisiness approach to effective relationships and leadership, but the skills taught should be transferred to any and all human relationships. Thanks to Jerry for recommending the book.

"A Credo For My Relationships

"You and I are in a relationship which I value and want to keep. Yet each of us is a separate person with unique needs and the right to meet those needs.

"When you are having problems meeting your needs, I will try to listen with genuine acceptance, in order to facilitate your finding your own solutions instead of depending on mine. I also will try to respect your right to choose your own beliefs and develop your own values, different though they may be from mine.

"However, when your behavior interferes with what I must do to get my own needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your behavior affects me, trusting that you respect my needs and feelings enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable to me. Also, whenever some behavior of mine is unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can try to change my behavior.

"At those times when we find that either of us cannot change to meet the other's needs, let us acknowledge that we have a conflict and commit ourselves to resolve each such conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power or authority to win at the expense of the other's losing. I respect your needs, but I also must respect my own. So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be accpetable to both of us. Your needs will be met, and so will mine - neither will lose, both will win.

"In this way, you cn continue to develop as a person through satisfying your needs, and so can I. Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in which both of us can strive to become what we are capable of being. And we can continue to relate to each other with mutual respect, love, and peace." (p.261)

Gordon, T. (1977). Leader Effectiveness Training. New York, NY: Wyden Books.