Dating Panel

Tonight I got to go to Family Home Evening because my professor decided to conduct an asynchronus online class. The title of the FHE activity was "Men, Women, and the Eternal Perspective". I admit that despite my initial reaction of, 'What a totally singles ward thing to do,' I am always intrigued every time a dating panel activity occurs. What will be said? Who will speak up?

Well, tonight was no disappointment. In fact, I'd say I enjoyed it more than most other such activities I have attended. It was interesting to hear what people had to say, and nice to be able to say a few things myself. The panel did a great job of sharing thoughts, impressions, experiences, and advice. Many of the answers offered by both the audience and the panel were things I needed to hear. Some of them were even things I have been told before, but I needed to hear them again.

The end result was that I felt calmed and reassured. Interestingly, this is exactly what I have been praying for lately. Heavenly Father so directly answers my prayers so often, it's scary. :) He really loves me. He constantly puts people in my path to help me, lift me up, and validate me. One day maybe I won't need so much constant validation - it's something I'm working on - but He helps me while I get there. Tonight was big progress. It's as if through all the words spoken tonight, directly to me and indirectly, ultimately sent the message: You are loved, you are liked, you are great, and you are often right. Trust yourself. Trust others. Trust the Lord.

I realize I have blogged about this type of topic a lot lately, but it's what I have been in the middle of for months now - this effort to understand and to be directed and guided when I don't have all the answers. I guess that's life. We never completely understand things, so we go forward being the best person we can be, letting faith be our strength and guide.

Well, it was a good activity. I once again have a renewed perspective, smile, and positive attitude. I am okay.

You Move Me

I want someone to love me enough that they will move. No, not move to another place. Move. Move forward. No, not change. Move. I want someone who will love me enough to do what it takes to be with me. No, not play "games" and pass "tests". Just move. I'll be willing to do the same.

I have a habit of finding songs that match and describe my life, my emotions, and my hopes. Two songs come to mind with this train of thought: "You Move Me" by Garth Brooks and "For the Love of a Woman" by Tyler Castleton and Staci Peters (performed by various LDS artists). The lyrics of songs are not always a perfect match to what I feel, but these come pretty close. I will post the lyrics and add the songs to my play list at the bottom of my blog if I'm able to.

You Move Me
This is how it seems to me
Life is only therapy
Real expensive and no guarantees

So I lie here on the couch
With my heart hanging out
Frozen solid with fear,
Like a rock in the ground

Whoa, but you move me
You give me courage I didn't know I had
You move me
Now I can't go with you and stay where I am
So you move me

This is how love was to me
I could look and not see
Going through the emotions,
Not knowing what they mean
And it scared me so much
That I just wouldn't budge
I might have stayed there forever
If not for your touch

Whoa, but you move me
Out of myself and into the fire
You move me
Now I'm burning with love and with hope and desire
How you move me

You go whistlin' in the dark
Making light of it, making light of it
And I follow with my heart, laughing all the way

Whoa cause you move me
You give me dancing and you make me sing
You move me
Now I'm taking delight in every little thing
How you move me
Whoa you move me
Whoa you move me
Whoa you move me
Whoa

For the Love of a Woman
For the love of a woman a man unlocks his heart
And reveals all the secrets it holds
And the love of a woman will find his better part
When he gives her the key to his soul

He will listen to her dreams
He will ask her what she needs
He will help her build the life she wants to live
He will hold her when she cries
With a love that never dies
All these things he will give
For the love of a woman

For the love of a woman a man will sacrifice
While he waits for a moment of grace
With the love of a woman a man will pay the price
For the trust that he sees in her face

He will open any door
Leave the life he knew before
To convince her that he's all she'll ever need
And when he's afraid to start
He will step into the dark
'Cause he knows she'll give his eyes the power to see
With the love of a woman

And her promises to help her dreams come true
No there's nothing in this world that he won't do

Though he's not a work of art
He will try with all his heart
To become the man she knows that he can be
With the love of a woman
The love of a woman
He will give his life
For the love of a woman

Little Things

Something is in my foot. I thought maybe it was just a blister forming, but no. There is definitely something in my foot. It hurts! Isn't it interesting that such little things can annoy you, or bother you, or hurt you in life? For example:
dry contact lenses
acne
forgetting something you were just about to say
dust
light bulbs that burn out too quickly
back pain
not RSVPing
people snoring while you're watching a movie (oh wait... that one was me last week...)
slow internet

But then, the little things in life can bring so much joy too! Little things like:
tulips
a quilt from my mom
a photo of my grandma
Yorkhshire pudding
finding golf balls on my walks
Debbie Gibson on my iPod
plants in my house not dying
someone saying, "I like you."
hugs
kisses!
black notebook paper and gel pens
getting a hair cut (Ooo... I love getting my hair cut!)
a clean kitchen
little green buds on the trees in spring
clouds
evening light, when it filters side-ways through the trees
a smile
something on the porch when you get home at night
laughing

Perhaps the lesson to be learned here is that we are so much better off when we focus on the little things that brighten our day. It's so much better than the alternative.
What are some of the little things that bring a smile to your face?

Support

Why should it be so difficult to find a good sports bra? Is it so much to ask for a supportive, comfortable, yet snug bra? My favorite two are Nike, and I've been thinking I've got to just go online and find some more like them. But, it kills me to spend more money on a product simply because it has a swoosh on the back. But, hey. I'm talkin' about taking care of my girls, so the money is worth it.

Sorry, Mom. I hope I didn't shock you ranting in "public" about such a topic.

Until We Meet Again

I had the distinct privilege today to attend the funeral services for President Gordon B. Hinckley, prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The spirit felt at the conference center was peaceful and warm. I loved hearing from his daughter and his fellow church leaders. My testimony of his role as prophet and my faith in Jesus Christ, my Savior, were strengthened. What an honor it has been to learn from President Hinckley, hear his wise words, watch his excellent example, and be blessed by his inspired leadership all these years. He truly was a man of God.

I am so happy to know that President Hinckley is now with his wife again, and that they are both in the presence of friends and family who have gone on before them. I can only imagine how glorious their reunion was on Sunday evening when he passed through the veil to be greeted by his Heavenly Father, the Savior, and his dear, sweet wife. Surely there were tears of joy and embraces. I imagine the Savior said to him, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

One of the many inspirational and touching thoughts from the funeral this morning was that of Presidnet Hinckley's repeated reassurance that "Things will work out." I tell myself this very thing every day as I face my own little challenges, struggles, and questions. It is a comfort to hear the prophet of the Lord expressing the same sentiments. It gives me renewed faith and courage to go forward with my life, knowing things will work out. And of course they will, if I put my trust in God, my loving, all-knowing Heavenly Father.

I was also filled with joy as I was reminded that this life is not the end of our relationships with our loved ones. President Hinckley has been reunited with his sweetheart, and one day his children, family, and friends will be reunited with him as well. I too will one day be reunited with my own father, and my wonderful mother will be reunited with her sweetheart. My dad's headstone reads, "How sweet will our reunion be!" I have had a glimpse of that sweetness as I have imagined President Hinckley's return to his heavenly home.

My thoughts and prayers are also with President Monson today as he prepares to step forward and take on the mantle of being the next prophet of The Church. As he stood at the pulpit today, ready to begin the services, he paused, as if to collect his thoughts and emotions. I can only imagine what those thoughts were, but I was impressed with the loss he has suffered in the passing of his dear friend and leader, and the responsibility he will be undertaking. I pray for him to receive strength and guidance. I am grateful for his goodness. I know he will be lead by the Lord, as President Hinckley was, to direct the Lord's church and His people.

It has been a beautiful, winter day - a time of contemplation, gratitude, faith, humility, and renewed determination to do the Lord's will. I am determined to live my life in such a way that I continue the legacy that President Hinckley and all the prophets before him have built. I will stand as a witness of Christ and move forward in the work the Lord has for me to do. My greatest desire is to be the person that President Hinckley, my dad, my mom, Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ expect me to be and know I can be. I am eternally grateful for my blessings and my knowledge of God's plan for me and for us all.

Ready

I decided today that I am ready for several things to happen:

I am ready for winter to be over.

Alas, it is only January.

I am ready to kiss someone new.

Alas, I don't know who.

I am ready to be done with working while going to grad school.

Alas, I have only completed one semester.

I am ready for something new.

Alas, I can hardly handle what I am already doing.

I am ready to move on.

Alas, I know not what to move on to.

Or what to move on from...

Simply Amazing

This afternoon I was using a bottle of Nasonex, and I dropped the lid on the bathroom floor. I heard it hit the tile, but when I looked for it, the lid was nowhere to be seen. I looked for a good two minutes, and no lid. "Strange," I said aloud. Figuring I was just blind in one eye, I left knowing I would find it sooner or later. When I got home from class tonight and trekked up the stairs, in the faint light I could see something small and oval-shaped on the stairs. I bent down to take a closer look and... You guessed it! The blue lid! The stairs are a good 10 to 15 feet from the bathroom, and around two corners! Simply amazing.

The light bulb in my closet burned out yesterday. I've never had my closet light bulb burn out before.

Tonight, to celebrate getting an MMR shot in my arm, I am barbecuing. In a short sleeve shirt, no less. Yes, it's a common thing for people to do while enjoying whether like we've had this week. Snow really puts one in the mood for steak.

Sigh...

Patience is a virtue I don't always have. I consider myself rather patient when it comes to people, kids, weirdos, long-winded phone talkers, bad singers, that kind of thing. But, when it comes to things I want in my life, I find it hard to have patience. Ironically, those are the things for which I have no other choice but to be patient. The long-term, maybe-it-will-happen-someday types of things are hard.

I'm tired.

I don't like working out, but it is quite necessary. An aching back and tight jeans make that quite clear.

I don't understand men.

I am working on figuring out why my professor gave me a grade lower than I think I deserve. I am also working on getting him to change it.

I have somehow run out of time off and go back to work Wednesday not having accomplished anything I planned on. I did other important things, and I had time off to do these unexpected things, so I'm certainly not complaining. But still...

Sigh...

Time to go to bed. Tomorrow I will work out, organize, set goals, smile more, and see my mom. Life is good.

Humility

humility |(h)yoōˈmilitē|
noun
a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.

humility |(h)yoōˈmilitē|
noun
when your three-year-old nephew gets a better bowling score than you do.

It's a good thing winning isn't everything...