Dating Panel

Tonight I got to go to Family Home Evening because my professor decided to conduct an asynchronus online class. The title of the FHE activity was "Men, Women, and the Eternal Perspective". I admit that despite my initial reaction of, 'What a totally singles ward thing to do,' I am always intrigued every time a dating panel activity occurs. What will be said? Who will speak up?

Well, tonight was no disappointment. In fact, I'd say I enjoyed it more than most other such activities I have attended. It was interesting to hear what people had to say, and nice to be able to say a few things myself. The panel did a great job of sharing thoughts, impressions, experiences, and advice. Many of the answers offered by both the audience and the panel were things I needed to hear. Some of them were even things I have been told before, but I needed to hear them again.

The end result was that I felt calmed and reassured. Interestingly, this is exactly what I have been praying for lately. Heavenly Father so directly answers my prayers so often, it's scary. :) He really loves me. He constantly puts people in my path to help me, lift me up, and validate me. One day maybe I won't need so much constant validation - it's something I'm working on - but He helps me while I get there. Tonight was big progress. It's as if through all the words spoken tonight, directly to me and indirectly, ultimately sent the message: You are loved, you are liked, you are great, and you are often right. Trust yourself. Trust others. Trust the Lord.

I realize I have blogged about this type of topic a lot lately, but it's what I have been in the middle of for months now - this effort to understand and to be directed and guided when I don't have all the answers. I guess that's life. We never completely understand things, so we go forward being the best person we can be, letting faith be our strength and guide.

Well, it was a good activity. I once again have a renewed perspective, smile, and positive attitude. I am okay.

Kiss Me! I'm Irish!

No really... I'm serious.

You Move Me

I want someone to love me enough that they will move. No, not move to another place. Move. Move forward. No, not change. Move. I want someone who will love me enough to do what it takes to be with me. No, not play "games" and pass "tests". Just move. I'll be willing to do the same.

I have a habit of finding songs that match and describe my life, my emotions, and my hopes. Two songs come to mind with this train of thought: "You Move Me" by Garth Brooks and "For the Love of a Woman" by Tyler Castleton and Staci Peters (performed by various LDS artists). The lyrics of songs are not always a perfect match to what I feel, but these come pretty close. I will post the lyrics and add the songs to my play list at the bottom of my blog if I'm able to.

You Move Me
This is how it seems to me
Life is only therapy
Real expensive and no guarantees

So I lie here on the couch
With my heart hanging out
Frozen solid with fear,
Like a rock in the ground

Whoa, but you move me
You give me courage I didn't know I had
You move me
Now I can't go with you and stay where I am
So you move me

This is how love was to me
I could look and not see
Going through the emotions,
Not knowing what they mean
And it scared me so much
That I just wouldn't budge
I might have stayed there forever
If not for your touch

Whoa, but you move me
Out of myself and into the fire
You move me
Now I'm burning with love and with hope and desire
How you move me

You go whistlin' in the dark
Making light of it, making light of it
And I follow with my heart, laughing all the way

Whoa cause you move me
You give me dancing and you make me sing
You move me
Now I'm taking delight in every little thing
How you move me
Whoa you move me
Whoa you move me
Whoa you move me
Whoa

For the Love of a Woman
For the love of a woman a man unlocks his heart
And reveals all the secrets it holds
And the love of a woman will find his better part
When he gives her the key to his soul

He will listen to her dreams
He will ask her what she needs
He will help her build the life she wants to live
He will hold her when she cries
With a love that never dies
All these things he will give
For the love of a woman

For the love of a woman a man will sacrifice
While he waits for a moment of grace
With the love of a woman a man will pay the price
For the trust that he sees in her face

He will open any door
Leave the life he knew before
To convince her that he's all she'll ever need
And when he's afraid to start
He will step into the dark
'Cause he knows she'll give his eyes the power to see
With the love of a woman

And her promises to help her dreams come true
No there's nothing in this world that he won't do

Though he's not a work of art
He will try with all his heart
To become the man she knows that he can be
With the love of a woman
The love of a woman
He will give his life
For the love of a woman

Everything I need to know about Valentine's Day I learned from a sixth grader.

Today I received a single red rose from Sergio, one of my students. He was all dressed up in a suit for our Valentine's Day dance and looked like a little gentleman presenting his rose. So cute. It made my day.

Annie stood next to me in the school gym as we watched kids doing the swing moves I taught them to Ella Fitzgerald. She turned to me and asked, "Have you danced with anyone your age at the dance today?"

I laughed and said, "No."

"Why not?"

"I don't think there are any guys my age to dance with... anywhere. I'm not sure they exist."

Annie looked a bit confused and said, "Oh... Well, you can just dance with me then."

And so we danced.

I found Kayla sitting on the floor of the gym crying because none of the boys were asking her to dance. I stood her up, gave her a hug, and said, "You don't need boys to ask you to dance to have a fun time. Just go out there and dance!" She dried her tears and smiled, and we headed out to the dance floor.

Meanwhile, Matthew had heard why Kayla was upset. Before she knew what hit her, Kayla was surrounded by 6 boys all wanting to dance with her - Matthew at the lead. She lit up as she danced with one kind boy after another.

Jordan gave me a Valentine card that said, "I love you because you are the best teacher in the whole world."

It's amazing how those little monkeys I teach can become so sweet. Today they were wonderful reminders of what is important in life: helping others feel loved.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Until We Meet Again

I had the distinct privilege today to attend the funeral services for President Gordon B. Hinckley, prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The spirit felt at the conference center was peaceful and warm. I loved hearing from his daughter and his fellow church leaders. My testimony of his role as prophet and my faith in Jesus Christ, my Savior, were strengthened. What an honor it has been to learn from President Hinckley, hear his wise words, watch his excellent example, and be blessed by his inspired leadership all these years. He truly was a man of God.

I am so happy to know that President Hinckley is now with his wife again, and that they are both in the presence of friends and family who have gone on before them. I can only imagine how glorious their reunion was on Sunday evening when he passed through the veil to be greeted by his Heavenly Father, the Savior, and his dear, sweet wife. Surely there were tears of joy and embraces. I imagine the Savior said to him, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

One of the many inspirational and touching thoughts from the funeral this morning was that of Presidnet Hinckley's repeated reassurance that "Things will work out." I tell myself this very thing every day as I face my own little challenges, struggles, and questions. It is a comfort to hear the prophet of the Lord expressing the same sentiments. It gives me renewed faith and courage to go forward with my life, knowing things will work out. And of course they will, if I put my trust in God, my loving, all-knowing Heavenly Father.

I was also filled with joy as I was reminded that this life is not the end of our relationships with our loved ones. President Hinckley has been reunited with his sweetheart, and one day his children, family, and friends will be reunited with him as well. I too will one day be reunited with my own father, and my wonderful mother will be reunited with her sweetheart. My dad's headstone reads, "How sweet will our reunion be!" I have had a glimpse of that sweetness as I have imagined President Hinckley's return to his heavenly home.

My thoughts and prayers are also with President Monson today as he prepares to step forward and take on the mantle of being the next prophet of The Church. As he stood at the pulpit today, ready to begin the services, he paused, as if to collect his thoughts and emotions. I can only imagine what those thoughts were, but I was impressed with the loss he has suffered in the passing of his dear friend and leader, and the responsibility he will be undertaking. I pray for him to receive strength and guidance. I am grateful for his goodness. I know he will be lead by the Lord, as President Hinckley was, to direct the Lord's church and His people.

It has been a beautiful, winter day - a time of contemplation, gratitude, faith, humility, and renewed determination to do the Lord's will. I am determined to live my life in such a way that I continue the legacy that President Hinckley and all the prophets before him have built. I will stand as a witness of Christ and move forward in the work the Lord has for me to do. My greatest desire is to be the person that President Hinckley, my dad, my mom, Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ expect me to be and know I can be. I am eternally grateful for my blessings and my knowledge of God's plan for me and for us all.

Ready

I decided today that I am ready for several things to happen:

I am ready for winter to be over.

Alas, it is only January.

I am ready to kiss someone new.

Alas, I don't know who.

I am ready to be done with working while going to grad school.

Alas, I have only completed one semester.

I am ready for something new.

Alas, I can hardly handle what I am already doing.

I am ready to move on.

Alas, I know not what to move on to.

Or what to move on from...

Letter to Nicaragua

I wrote this letter to Emery in Nicaragua to update her on the happenings here, so I will include it (edited for content, of course) to update all of you as well.

Hi! So I miss you. I realized yesterday that I talk to myself a lot when you're not here... out loud... I'm actually quite witty.

So much happens when you go away, so I'll fill you in on some important things while I still remember them. And, if you prompt me when you get back I will elaborate.

Oh, and I know I'm totally butchering the spelling of every name and a lot of words in this email, but I'm too tired to worry about it. Forgive me? Please? Thanks.

Today in the "good news minute" (which I walked in late for - long story - I'll tell you about that later in this email), Krista announced her engagement to that guy! What's his name? Hold on, I'll text Brian...

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

Steven.

Also, Tami announced her engagement to Jimmy during her talk today! (That sounds funny, but it wasn't strange of her to say. It fit in her talk.) Crazy!

Tami told me I looked HOT today. I love that girl.

Ben was called as the assistant mission leader, Jessica was called as assistant librarian. Heidi was called as the ward women's sports leader, and Lee was called as the men's.

Nataley, Tami, and Teona spoke in sacrament meeting about self mastery and bridling your passions.

I met with the bishopric about my many callings. We're all very sad that I won't be able to continue with everything I've been doing because of my new calling as Stake Women's Sports Director. I think I'm going to remain the webmaster, but be released from calendar, public relations chair, and gospel doctrine. I think I will be the official unofficial gospel doctrine substitute. Bishop, Marlin, and Aaron were very nice and complimentary to me. This stake calling will be good. By the way, do you want to play basketball on Saturday mornings? :)

Ok, so why I was late despite getting up at 7:30:
I must admit, I agree with Tami that I looked rather cute today. :) I had on my black, short GAP dress and tall boots (ok, YOUR tall boots...). Today was ward dinner, and I made pork and sour kraut. I was on the way out the door and managed to tip the tray with the food just enough that a line of pickled cabbage juice went onto my dress right across my boobs. Yuck. What could I do? I was determined to not have to change my entire outfit, so I dabbed off the sour kraut juice, ran upstairs, and got the Febreeze bottle. I sprayed myself with the Fabreeze and ran back downstairs. So, now my bust line smelled minty fresh with just a hint of stewed pork and sour kraut. But hey, I was only a few minutes late and I looked GOOD. ;)

Friday:
Dennis and I went to Kristine and Adam's music party. I had a very fun time. I had a LOT of fun! I have a cough, so my voice was quickly dying, but I managed to sing quite a few songs. They demanded Adam and I sing "The Prayer". It was not so good. My voice was too gone. I made them promise to request it next time so I can redeem myself. Adam defended me, and so did his mom, saying that I really was sick. I sang a song with Maurine, Adam's mom, accompanying me. I sang a couple songs with Keith. And I sang "Home" from Beauty and the Beast, "Whistle Down the Wind", and "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" with Dennis accompanying me. Dennis played very well. Several of the other ladies asked him to play for them too. He is better than I realized, and I found out he has only ever taken a year of piano lessons - and they were Suzuki lessons! So, he basically taught himself. Cool.

Well, have you had enough? Ok. Stop reading email and go play a game with your family and then take a bubble bath not with your family. See you on Tuesday. If anything great happens between now and then, I'll let you know.

Guacamole Snowcone

I went to my friend Andrea's birthday dinner tonight. Walking back to the car, I noticed that the ground was very icy. Unfortunately, I did not realize how icy until I could feel my feet sliding around out of control. I could not stop those feet from sliding right out from under me! Down I went, crashing to the cold asphalt while my bowl of guacamole shattered and splattered next to me.

I heard Emery and a couple other people ask, "Are you okay?"

"Ya, I'm fine."

"I'm glad you're okay. But, I'm really upset about losing that great guacamole."

A hand reached down to help me up. "Hi. I'm Dean. I didn't get to meet you inside at the party." The same hand then reached out to shake mine.

"Um, nice to meet you, Dean... Sorry, I have guacamole all over my hands."

Emery and Dean helped me collect the pieces of broken bowl. Another friend emerged from her car with a bag to put the ceramic pieces in. Dean promptly grabbed a chunk of snow and plopped it down right on top of the pile of guacamole so no one would step in it. My guacamole-covered clothing is now soaking in the washing machine. Fortunately, I landed on my hip and bum, so there was plenty of padding and my landing didn't hurt. Now, I'm just praying that my back doesn't freak out again from the jolt it received. Ah... life is full of fun adventures.

Happy New Year!

Over the last few days, each time I was asked what I wanted to do on New Year's Eve my reply was, "Kiss!" And what do you know, I did get my New Year's kiss! Ok, so it was on the cheek, but it was from a guy I had just met. That's enough adventure and romance to last me till, you know... whenever.

Thanks to Andrea, Emery and I went to a fun party for "mid singles". A lot of the people there know each other from LDSLinkup, so it was a little odd to hear people saying things like, "Hey aren't you CampfireBug? I looked at your profile today." Nevertheless, there were quite a few nice people. The house was packed, actually, and I was reminded how many singles there are that are my age. Some of them are single for obvious reasons, some for not so obvious reasons, and some for no particular reason at all. Is it comforting to know there are so many? Or is it more depressing? Not quite sure.

Karaoke was going on down stairs at the party, so that's where Emery and I headed. We sang "Goodbye Earl" by the Dixie Chicks. It was fun, and many people complimented us. One guy, who said we were great singers, looked so familiar to me that I finally asked his name. Brian, as it turns out, is my friend Sarah's brother! I know Sarah from my hometown. She moved into my church ward toward the end of high school. He gave me her number so I could call her and catch up. Fun!

The Karaoke room was so full of people that everyone had to get cozy. I managed to snag a chair (good thing because my back was ready to die!) but there wasn't much leg room. I didn't mind, however, because the lack of leg room meant that Andrea's friend Mark, whom she met in law school, had to rest his arms on my legs and eventually squeeze in next to me on the chair. Mark and I became very close friends very quickly as a result. We're tight now. He is the one from whom I got my kiss. :)

Well, happy New Year, every one. I hope 2008 brings wonderful things to your lives. May all your wildest dreams come true!