Apparently there are some definite DOs and DON'Ts at my house and in my presence that are somewhat unspoken, but helpful if known. Emery and Brian are helping me produce a list of rules of conduct that I expect people to follow while with me. This is a work in progress, so my list may be updated and added to. If you have any suggestions of rules that should be included, leave a comment and I may add them.
•You must use politically correct terms and proper grammar.
•No tickling, and no requests to be tickled.
•Never wear ugly red shirts - you never know who you might meet that day.
•No talking about personal hygiene in the kitchen.
•Do not talk to Katie right after she has woken up.
•Never throw surprise parties. Ever.
•Only positive self-talk.
•Never talk about The Great IPTA. Ever.
•Only church music or mellow music may be played on Sunday.
•Do not insult Katie's blanket.
•No cutting hair in the house.
•Use extreme caution when touching Katie.
•Do not sit on the couch pillows.
•Do not insult Katie's piano.
•When Katie wants to dance, you dance!
•You may not complain if the ice maker (or anything else in the house) is broken unless you intend to pay for it to be fixed.
•Never refer to Katie, or any other teacher, as "rich" or "loaded".
•If Katie covers up her head, it is best to move on to a different topic of conversation.
•It is often necessary to disregard mean, strange, or intimidating facial expressions.
•Stinky cheese is not allowed. But, if stinky cheese must be had, a warning is appreciated.
•Squash should not be left in the oven.
•Cooking S'mores should not result in the fire alarm sounding.
•You may not complain about the size of the television unless you intend to buy Katie a larger television.
•The light brown blanket is designated as Katie's back blanket.
•A laugh from Katie can have a variety of meanings.
•Certain words are prohibited:
fart (You may say 'toot' or 'sparkle'.)
crap (I can't believe I even just typed that!)
Oriental (unless you are referring to rugs)
I hope you find these rules helpful and informative. As I said, be sure to add any rules or forbidden words you can think of. And check back to see what has been added to the list!
If I were...
5 days ago